Interpersonal Communication and Conflict

Interpersonal Conflict is commonly defined as “the interaction of independent people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving these goals” In Interpersonal Conflict and Effective Communication, it gives different ways as to how individuals can avoid heated conflicts and promote better ways on how to find solutions for conflicts. Although it is impossible to stay away from conflict or always get involved with it, the article does claim that running into a few conflicts can be healthy for a relationship.

Different styles for facing conflict:

1.       Avoiding or denying conflict is common with every individual. The conflict lingers in the background during interaction between the participants and creates the potential for further tension and even more conflict.

2.        A second response style is that of one person getting mad and blaming the other person. This occurs when a person mistakenly equates conflict with anger.

3.       A third way which some people use to resolve conflict is by using power and influence to win at the other's expense.

These different styles are negative because they shy away from getting things resolved or creating hostility.

As noted in the article, the healthier ways of facing conflict are:

-          Both parties must view their conflict as a problem to be solved mutually so that both parties have the feeling of winning - or at least finding a solution which is acceptable to both. Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible to both. It is healthier if both parties can remain open, honest, assertive and respectful of the other position. Mutual trust and respect, as well as a positive, constructive attitude, are fundamental necessities in relationships that matter.

-          To prevent conflict from happening in the first place, it is important to identify the ways in which we contribute to the disagreement.

In order for people to reduce conflict, there are certain ways to resolve things. First find truth in the other person’s point of view. We must acknowledge the fact that people are not all alike and take this into consideration. Second, we must see things from someone else’s view. If we put ourselves in someone else’s shoe we will gain a better understanding as to how people think. Third, use I statements so that the other individual sees how you feel. Lastly, try to stay positive and ask questions.

When we consider all these factors our relationships with others will be more balanced.

Self Disclosure and Social Networking

After reading the online article about whether or not society puts too much personal information on online social networks, I would agree that yes we do. The article gives examples of what could potentially happen if an individual reveals too much info about where they live, where they work, and where they are at every moment. Assuming that everybody is our “friend,” society feels comfortable putting statuses about personal situations or social gatherings.  What the article reveals is that sometimes putting certain comments could also give others a chance to invade a person’s privacy.

I would agree that people will reveal more information online rather than in person because 1. It is not face to face, 2. Most of your friends are already people you know, 3. It’s an easy way of networking and 4. Everybody else has their information revealed so why not they?

Now that online activity has increased tremendously within the years, certain websites allow us to inform others of what we are doing or where we will be throughout the day.  For some, putting this type of information can be seen as revealing too much but for others it’s more of a convenient way of knowing what others are up to. Allowing ourselves to openly reveal personal information over the internet can be seen as showing our side that people do not normally assume us to be.

When things are done over the internet, it is easier to confront on another or reveal something. When things are done face to face, it is harder to avoid or stay away from subjects. The internet allows us to create different images about ourselves by asking us who we are, where we’re from, and our interests. Most of the information that is added onto our profile is what our friends and families already know [sometimes]. In class, someone revealed that they would not add someone as a friend from their family because they didn’t want their family members seeing who they really are rather than the person their family thinks they are. Having links that allow others to contact us is another reason why people will post contact information about themselves.

Lastly, following the latest trends in online activities are was makes the internet so popular. In other words, if other people are doing something which relates to what others are doing than it must be okay to follow along. An example of this is Twitter. Twitter allows users to post status updates about what an individual is doing at almost every minute of the day and not post anything else. Thus, if everyone is doing what is the latest online trend than people feel comfortable tagging along. Overall, the article really opened my eyes and let me see that websites can sometimes be too revealing and we should be more cautious of what we put on our profiles.

Styles of Listening

After reading what Chapter 6 had to say about the four listening styles, I decided that I am more of a context and people centered listener. It was hard for me to decide which listening style I applied to most because I react to different situations accordingly.  In order for me to conversate or understand things better there are different listening methods that I must use.

For example, I work for an eye doctor’s office as a technician. My job title includes having to fill people charts, grab contact lenses, order contacts, and various other positions. In order for me to communicate and listen properly to the doctors and staff I must speak in technical terms [jargon] which some people may not understand. For instance, instead of the doctor telling me that someone is farsighted, he or she will tell me that the patient has myopia. This is where context listening come into play. If I am unable to understand the language that the doctors are speaking, I am unable to do my job and will result in me not listening for important details.

Another example of context listening is at my job I have here on campus. I work for Riders OIT Voice system and when a person calls in with a report I must document everything and then reply it to my boss. If someone is having trouble calling out of campus I will say CCO and if an employee’s name does not show up on the phone display I will say No CPND. We use these types of abbreviations so that it is easier to remember everything someone is saying because it is shortened.

I do not think that using the context listening approach is best for all situations because I feel that this style looks just for the important details. I feel that when listening to your friends and family, I would use the people centered style because it makes communication more at ease and personable.  I think I learned these approaches just by picking up on the way people react when I listen or speak to them. I feel we all learn when to use different listening styles even if we are not aware of it. It’s hard to understand someone when they are speaking in terms that you do not understand. Thus, I try to gear away from using jargon with patients at my job because it is not easy to listen to someone that you do not understand what they are saying so I will use people centered because I take into consideration what is best for them.