Styles of Listening

After reading what Chapter 6 had to say about the four listening styles, I decided that I am more of a context and people centered listener. It was hard for me to decide which listening style I applied to most because I react to different situations accordingly.  In order for me to conversate or understand things better there are different listening methods that I must use.

For example, I work for an eye doctor’s office as a technician. My job title includes having to fill people charts, grab contact lenses, order contacts, and various other positions. In order for me to communicate and listen properly to the doctors and staff I must speak in technical terms [jargon] which some people may not understand. For instance, instead of the doctor telling me that someone is farsighted, he or she will tell me that the patient has myopia. This is where context listening come into play. If I am unable to understand the language that the doctors are speaking, I am unable to do my job and will result in me not listening for important details.

Another example of context listening is at my job I have here on campus. I work for Riders OIT Voice system and when a person calls in with a report I must document everything and then reply it to my boss. If someone is having trouble calling out of campus I will say CCO and if an employee’s name does not show up on the phone display I will say No CPND. We use these types of abbreviations so that it is easier to remember everything someone is saying because it is shortened.

I do not think that using the context listening approach is best for all situations because I feel that this style looks just for the important details. I feel that when listening to your friends and family, I would use the people centered style because it makes communication more at ease and personable.  I think I learned these approaches just by picking up on the way people react when I listen or speak to them. I feel we all learn when to use different listening styles even if we are not aware of it. It’s hard to understand someone when they are speaking in terms that you do not understand. Thus, I try to gear away from using jargon with patients at my job because it is not easy to listen to someone that you do not understand what they are saying so I will use people centered because I take into consideration what is best for them.

Technology and Interpersonal Communication

The four assumptions of online presentation are:

1.      The computer screen can deceive

2.      Online discussions often prompt introspection

3.      Online discussions promote self-orientation

4.      Self- Disclosure occurs online

On Facebook, many people perceive others by the information that is shown on someone’s profile. With this being said, not only do friends and acquaintances create their own  opinion about the person they are looking up, but so do business’ who are looking for potential employees. For example, if you have a profile picture of yourself partying and improper spelling or profanity, the person who is looking at your page or looking you up may automatically think that you always party or talk the way you write. (Ex. Abbreviated language or writing literally) This can also lead to job loss. Also, just by looking at someone’s profile may give off the wrong image, when in reality the person may be the complete opposite of what you assumed in the first place. Facebook allows people to think about what they are going to write before posting a comment or sending a message. Another feature that Facebook allows is to delete post that have been commented on others pages and also on your page, whereas face to face conversation nothing can be deleted nor taken back.  This concept applies to the second assumption. This is helpful because it can give people better judgment of what to post or say before anybody else can see. Facebook allows others to friend request, message, or invite people that you do not know. Usually when I receive a friend request from someone I do not know or receive a message from someone I do not recognize, I will usually delete the message or ignore them. I probably would not ignore someone in person if they were to speak to me; however my views about people on the internet vary. By displaying your likes, interest, hometown, school, and friends it will help others either accept or decline you. These are different examples of assumption three. Similar to assumption three, I feel that assumption four is how you “promote” yourself online or want others to see you.  Facebook allows you to put up a variety of different subjects. The common tools people display is their full name, date of birth, hometown, sexual orientation and religious views. Other features are likes, preferred television shows, your email, favorite music, address, and the college you attend. Normally someone will not give out this type of information in person if they do not know someone, however; the internet does have a powerful effect on people’s views. I assume posting information on Facebook or any webpage makes people feel more secure because they are just writing what they want to present to others rather than being asked or obligated to do so.

Adaptation Theory

The adaptation theory is based on our expectations and requirements when speaking or interacting with others. When people speak with one another, often there will be some sort of verbal or non verbal feedback in return. Usually, the best way of seeing others feedback is by holding a conversation in person. An example of adaptation theory is when I spoke to my friends about a recent suicide in my hometown this week. Midweek, I received a text from my boyfriend who said a young girl from my high school committed suicide. The response I received from others when I told them I knew someone who had just killed herself was the response I was expecting to get. I knew that once I told my story to others they would either listen or get freaked out about the situation. Some of my friends asked questions, covered their mouths, said oh my God, and even began a conversation about other related stories. One thing I noticed was that everybody had the same initial reaction but responded differently. What I mean by this is some people felt sad in the beginning and then told similar stories, and some were eager to find out what happened. Although I told more than three people about the suicide, the way I responded was also an example of how I applied adaptation theory to my boyfriend’s question. When I received his text I responded my asking who the girl was, if I knew her, and how old she was. After my boyfriend saw that I was curious as to finding out what happened, he responded by telling me how he felt about the situation and how he knew the girl for years. This is an example my feedback towards his question and the response he was looking for. Similar, when I told my friends I was with, they responded by giving me feedback on their experiences with knowing people who committed suicide and how interested they were as to finding out what had really happened to the girl. The topic of the conversation was suicidal death; I feel that most people responded in a similar manner to the topic because they all have been affected by it in some way.

Words Are Powerful

I believe a message can cause much impact on an individual by the words that are chosen. The saying “choose your words wisely” applies to this entry because what we say can often be misinterpreted. In some cases, a words meaning could have changed overtime. One word which I feel is often used and its meaning has changed is retarded. As defined in dictionary.com, the word retard means to make slow; delay the development or progress of. When someone calls you retarded or says that something is retarded it usually refers to that person as being challenged or boring. I feel like some people say retarded without even thinking what its original context means. This is the greatest form of ignorance. People who use the word do not consider it to be offensive. There are times when people feel the word is socially acceptable but times when it is not. For example, a person may say, “You’re so retarded” and not think twice about who they just said it to and if it hurt their feelings; but if someone said the same quote to someone who is mentally challenged or someone who knows a mentally challenged individual the context may be much more powerful. Sometimes a word like retarded doesn’t really mean anything to an individual because it does not affect them; however if this applies to you or someone you know, it takes on a whole new meaning. I do believe that the selection of one word can be much greater than another. Using words like “silly” “boring” or even “dumb” rather than retarded can lighten situations or avoid hurtful sayings. There is no appropriate time or instance to call someone retarded but changing the word to another could make a significant difference in the way a person interprets what you say.